So drunk its hurt
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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