What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
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You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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