no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
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He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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