I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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