I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
