you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
