The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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