After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
