you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
