If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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