i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
