We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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