Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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