i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
