I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
