Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
