her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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