Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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