I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
