I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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