just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
