if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize