You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
