that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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