yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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