It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
