one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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