In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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