Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
