im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
