She's JV to your varsity
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
