we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize