Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
