I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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