After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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