Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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