I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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