omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize