All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
