Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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