I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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