Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
