you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
So vagazzling was a success
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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