omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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