OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
