Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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