adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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