Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
