If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I DEMAND FORESKIN
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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