Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
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I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
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NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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