If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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