im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
