moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I have aggressive nipples.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
