I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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