don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
