I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize