Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
