Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Alive.
So much puke
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
