It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
