I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
